How To Be A Girl

"How to be a girl" it's a result of an exercise from my english class, I really enjoyed writing it even If Im not the one who should tell somebody: how to be a girl, you would see what I mean..."

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Don’t eat, or at least don’t let people watching you eating, food is digested and excreted and you don’t want people imagine where all that food you eat goes. Change boyfriends as you change wonderwear, don’t forget to take them out all the money you can, expensive restaurants, clothes…if they want you, they have to afford everything you want, including your boobs surgery (if god didn’t provide you with big ones). Upload sexy pictures of yourself on Facebook, don’t forget to show what god gave you. Don’t pretend to be brainy because boys will run away from you, don’t ask too much, don’t talk too much, don’t analyze too much, don’t even think, everything is perfect the way it is. Dye your hair blond or black, iron your hair everyday if it is necessary, and don’t forget to do your manicure and pedicure and wear high heels it doesn’t matter where you go, Whatever the cost, be a model, men desire models, It doesn’t matter if you are not pretty enough or tall enough, there are a lot of model agencies interested in photographing your butt. Finally find a good traqueto man and marry him.

By Acid Justine

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Wear like a lady, cute pink ribbons on your hair and cute flirty dresses. Play with your dolls, imagine you are their mommy and feed them. Play with your Barbie and your kitchen stuffs. If you start talking with your food, you are not nuts you are just sensitive.

Be surrounded by intelectual friends, they will complement your lack of intelligence. During your teenage years, consider yourself "lost". Reject boys, low self-steem, dark clothes and red hair.

Don’t eat meat, being vegetarian makes you a better person and also skinnier. Dye your hair as you change your wonderwear; use all the cosmetics and natural products for taking care your hair. Be spontaneous, show interest in arts, music and activism. Don’t show interest in cooking even if your mom says women should cook, stay out late it doesn’t matter if your mom says good girls (House girls) are not late at night in the street, get drunk it doesn’t matter if your mom says good girls don’t drink alcohol or if you drank so much alcohol that you cannot even remember what you did the day before and people tells you were fighting, sleeping in parks, in bakeries, drinking with tramps or vomiting what you didn’t eat; kiss boys, remember that if you kissed frogs one day you’d find your blue prince or at least a good frog to be with or it doesn’t matter if you kissed that frog or guy and you made it your boyfriend and then you realize he was gay. Have all the boyfriends you want and make love if you want it, it doesn’t matter if your moms says good girls stay pure, virtuous and virgin until their wedding day. Wear what you want to wear; it doesn’t matter if your mom says you should dress cute dresses like a lady and high heels. Be what you want to, it doesn’t matter if people think you are weird or your family think you are weird, or feminist or lesbian or both… just act the way you want: burp,chew with your mouth open, fart, hell yeah"fart" anyway one day your mom will lost the hope to see you all in white, married with the perfect man and having cute chubby babies or even acting like lady.

By Sweet Justine